I’ve always been convinced that I’m incapable of being on vacation at home; the landslide of household minutia resides too close, the laptop too easily accessible. I’m pretty sure even my therapist typed me as someone who needs to leave the premises in order to truly sink into vacation.

But last week I proved myself wrong. And in the process, I developed a new perspective on parenting, work, and balance.

Last Saturday we headed to Maine for a much needed vacation; the original plan was for Jon to return on Tuesday and for Laurel and me to follow on Thursday. Per usual, we had a wonderful time with our friends in Maine – time that was replete with laughter, awesome food (probably too much food), vacation-y adventures, and catching up on fine literature (read: trashy magazines). On Tuesday, as Jon’s departure time grew closer, I was of two minds: on the one hand, I didn’t feel ready to leave and wasn’t wild about spending the rest of vacation at home for the aforementioned can’t-vacation-at-home-reasons. On the other hand, I was feeling a bit under the weather, and the idea of negotiating Laurel and my things home on Thursday via multiple phases of public transit lacked appeal.

Ultimately, as is the case with many things, Laurel was the deciding factor. She wanted to go with Daddy. She wanted the family to stick together.

So we left. And it was a good choice given that Jon, Laurel, and I got sick. But even so, the most amazing thing happened; it actually started while we were still in Maine.

I stumbled upon a new way to work. Or not work. Or rather, be completely present whether working or parenting, but not trying to do both at the same time.

On Sunday and Monday in Maine, I did launch a post each morning. But because we were on vacation, I didn’t jump out of bed thinking about posting; I got around to it after breakfast, when we were all lazing around figuring out what to do with the day. Totally low maintenance.

Then I was officially off on my internet vacation the rest of the week. I didn’t post, I only peeked in briefly on Twitter and Facebook (and admittedly, was sort of turned off by both and quickly left). I pretty much ignored my email. Instead, after we returned to Boston, I…

…spent an entire rainy day indoors in jammies with Laurel, reading books, goofing off, playing games, and eating all of our food picnic style.

…was able to be that mom — the one who, when the sitter couldn’t come over for a few hours as planned, was able to say, “No problem; don’t sweat it!” and actually mean it.

…instead spent the sitter time (during which I had planned on running boring errands) taking Laurel to the library and toy store, then out for a yummy sushi lunch, then to pick up her pottery at the paint your own pottery studio. I can’t say enough how much I love bopping around out and about with Laurel. She is the best sidekick.

…spent my evenings with my lovely husband, not my laptop.

…enjoyed an afternoon baking up a storm with Laurel. We took advantage of the spoils of our CSA and made chocolate zucchini cake and a double batch of zucchini bread (froze a batch, gave a batch to my mom).

…made moussaka from scratch (using the landslide of eggplant and potato from our CSA). Definitely a labor of love but so worth it. And an even greater, unexpected gift? Laurel actually tried some and declared that she loved it and ate a whole piece (protein, starch, vegetable, and dairy, all in one sitting!).

…dealt with hundreds of emails that have been languishing in my inbox to get my inbox under 50 messages. I did this over the weekend when I was slowly crawling out of my internet hibernation and I think the break helped me bucket these e-mails more clearly; meaning, I followed up on the ones of interest, dealt with e-mails that required action that didn’t take long but were hanging around for a long time, and filed e-mails that simply did not resonate with me (there were a lot of them). It felt enormously cleansing and the process inspired me to get in the habit of really listening to my instinct when I receive emails – to file or deal with things quickly to avoid generating a backlog that overwhelms me.

…did not fret about household minutia. Not one speck, as Laurel says. And the house? It’s still standing. In fact, it looks totally fine, not even really worth fretting over.

At first I was a little stunned by how easy it was for me to not worry about household minutia and work and simply remain in fun vacation mode at home. But in turning the week over in my mind and with Jon, it seems like the two major factors at play were expectation and mindset. I always told myself it was impossible to be in vacation mode at home without ever really trying it. I’m someone who tends to create projects and long to-do lists (re: household minutia), so I just let go of that. So liberating. And it proved immensely powerful to publicly declare an internet vacation; I gave myself space and time; I lessened my and others’ expectations of me and my response time.

And the thing is – and this is very easy to forget as an independent businessperson who tends to put her head down and power through work – I am in charge of expectation and mindset; I can give myself space and time whenever I want, even when back on a regular work routine. The point is, I am, in fact, driving this bus and this week helped me see that I could operate in all of my various roles on my own terms to incredibly rewarding effect – it was possible to post in an easy and relaxed way, be truly mindful when I was with my family, enjoy the beauty in life’s small moments, and be focused when I finally sat down to look at my inbox.

Expectation and mindset. If you’re feeling disgruntled with [work, parenting, fill in the blank...], experiment with adjusting — even in baby steps. Remember, ultimately, we all drive the bus.

I just spent nearly four days offline. Yes, I checked in on my Blackberry periodically (though the frequency of checking decreased exponentially as the hours passed), but I didn’t crack open my laptop once during this time (a rarity for me). Prior to these four days I took Laurel with me to New York City for work and wasn’t online much during that time either.

Don’t get me wrong, I love you internet, but here are 10 reasons why I loved being away from you most of this past week:

1. Laurel and I experienced a series of firsts together. It wasn’t our first mom-daughter work trip, but it was our first time riding the Acela, strolling the streets of Manhattan, visiting $5 jewelry street vendors, getting her first manicure (yep, I splurged on the $5 per thumb floral design), and ordering room service together. Also, Laurel got to meet a celebrity, who immediately complimented her on said $5 jewelry. Laurel declared the city that never sleeps too busy for her to live in, but we had a fantastic time visiting.

2. Jon, Laurel, and I enjoyed three blissful days in Maine with some of our favorite friends on the planet (I miss you tremendously already Anne, Michael, Lucy, and Olivia). We built sandcastles, dipped toes (or more) into the frigid sea, walked around town, lounged around the house, sipped cocktails, laughed, talked late into the night, ate marvelous food, did puzzles, and for the most part got to witness kids playing remarkably well together. Also, one late afternoon while we were frolicking along the shore, I saw a seal poke its head up above water, probably about 10 feet from us. I fah-reaked.

3. Because we were a group of four parents and three children who all trusted one another, I could go for a run (a beautiful loop that ended along the ocean) one day, and do yoga the next without feeling pressed for time.

4. I got to watch Laurel fly a kite for the first time. Oh me, oh my, I almost cried.

5. I cooked Korean for our friends. It made me so, so happy. And even the kids devoured the scallion pancakes.

6. Immediately after our return from Maine, my family and I gathered to memorialize the fifth year since my father’s death. I miss my dad a lot and welcome moments where I can reflect and feel grateful for the time I had with him.

7. My family and I went out for an insanely huge Korean meal, then went back to my mom’s house to celebrate my niece Alyssa’s birthday. Given the size of our family, we’re not all together often. In fact, I think it’s been almost a year since the last time that happened. There was so, so much laughter.

8. Alyssa received a spa kit for her birthday and she and Laurel immediately “opened up shop” to clients. It was through this experience that I was reminded of just how much my siblings love these kids. Everyone — men included — agreed to get their nails painted. I love that my brother just laughed and didn’t get mad when Laurel told him he had the “messiest feet in the whole world!”

9. Shopping for Alyssa’s birthday presents in Maine was super fun. Not only did I get to have a little shopping excursion and one on one time with Anne, but while I browsed journals for Alyssa, I decided to buy myself a beautiful journal to record inspiration offline. I don’t think I’ve purchased a journal for myself since high school.

10. Taking an internet break sometimes means that you come back to fun things and surprises. Such as this delightfully fitting post from Gwen Bell about taking a digital sabbatical. Or this post by my delicious foodie friend Rachel, who kindly included me in a roundup of some of her favorite nominees for the BlogLuxe Awards. Or this generous post from Jennifer James, who included me as an example of someone who blogs with focus and professionalism. Or these fun photos from my first time modeling on a runway (as part of Room To Grow’s Fashion Forward event)

Yes, my inbox now overflows, but my work life did not crumble because I was offline. I feel happy, rejuvenated, and ready to rock it. Though I’m still going to take it easy today given that it’s officially a holiday.

Have you unplugged lately? I hope you’re planning on it soon!

We’ve been struggling with a very emotional Laurel of late, and our departure from her on Saturday was pretty gnarly — complete with screaming, crying, clutching, and trying to escape from my mother’s car. And while it may seem callous to some, I know Laurel loves my mother and I was pretty confident that she would be perfectly fine after she got out of range. In short, unless Laurel was truly injured and in need, there was nothing stopping me from making Jon and my overnight getaway to celebrate our ten year anniversary a reality.

Getting away more is one of the ten intentions I set on our ten year anniversary. Because we need to get away. Because we’re awesome at sinking into vacation mode when we get away. And because we suck at getting away. I think the last time we got away on our own was when Laurel was 13 months old — and it wasn’t just for us, it was for the wedding of dear friends, where Jon was the best man and I had designed all of the paper needs (meaning, we had some responsibilities that weekend).

{Hangs head in shame.}

So off we went. From all of my Boston area spa research, I decided to book at Stonehedge Inn & Spa because I wanted something under an hour from Boston (given that we only had 24 hours) that offered spa services. And while I thought Stonehedge’s spa could stand some improvement (major point = Jon and I agreed that the spa services were good but not mind blowing-ly great; minor point = they really ought to offer the big fluffy robes available in-room at the spa) and the restaurant service was a little pokey, otherwise the staff was wonderful and friendly and the food was yummy.

But what was really special? Our room came with a big screen porch and after enjoying lunch at the inn restaurant, Jon and I ordered lattes and the fresh baked cookie dessert plate, then asked if we could take them to our room. To which the staff said yes, of course we could, and that they would bring it to us. And they did. And I think they doubled the amount of cookies so we both could try one of each. And the cookies were awesome. And it was the best latte I have had in a long time. And Jon and I proceeded to while away the hours on our porch, munching and sipping, playing cribbage, chatting, and reading magazines until the sun started to fade and we decided to bring cocktails back to the porch to relax some more. And then we enjoyed a late dinner, during which we ate slowly and mindfully and talked about food, life, dreams, fears, and everything in between, and just focused on each other in a way that was really, really lovely.

We returned back to the real world a mere 24 hours later, but the brief but blissful retreat had us spinning on a decidedly different axis. Laurel was, in fact, perfectly fine and happy with my mother, and we scooped her up and enjoyed a lovely day as a family.

Damned if I’ll wait another five years before booking another getaway. And if you’re scratching your head trying to remember the last time you took a little getaway with your partner, I highly encourage you to book time as well.