I have no idea whether I’m done growing babies. If up to Jon, I’m pretty sure the answer would be that we’re done (perhaps emphatically so after last night’s teething-induced lack of sleep). However, it’s harder for me to say that. I can’t help it. I loved being pregnant. I love babies. Jon and I make really sweet ones. However, I’m also pretty tired right now given everything I have going on, coupled with the fact that Violet – now walking and extremely excited about her newly discovered ability to scamper up the stairs – pretty much kicks my ass sometimes.
There is one thing that has become certain to me though, particularly as I’ve been writing Minimalist Parenting with Asha: I can’t bear to hold on to baby things I may or may not need in the future when there are people who need them now. This week I felt so much lighter – emotionally and physically – by doing the following:
1. I filled five (!) kitchen sized garbage bags with stuffed animals and toys. I was thrilled to find a website that coordinates gently used stuffed animal donations to put the items in the hands of kids who could use a lovey. I was actually a little ashamed to have this many bags of gently used or new with tag stuffed animals and toys, but at least they are now all en route to new homes. (I didn’t even have to take them anywhere – a charity came to pick up the toys for me!)
2. Our town is coordinating a toy/clothing/gear drive for local families in need. Yesterday I loaded my car and dropped off: 1) a stroller that we never used (since we had two other hand me down strollers – regular + jogger – that suited our purposes); 2) a stroller base (this was awesome when Violet was a baby); 3) a high chair (we just use one of those Fisher Price boosters to save space); and 4) two baby play gyms. All of these items were handed down to me when I learned I was pregnant with Violet (and had already given away all of my baby gear assuming secondary infertility).
Who knows what the future will bring but it feels so good to not wait for maybe. And it was awesome to have Laurel be so excited to share items with other families. These are the moments when I feel like I’m doing well as a parent.
Yes, yes, yes. You can always beg and borrow from friends in the future. That said, it does hurt me a little bit to acknowledge we are a family who no longer needs a stroller.
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Christine Koh Reply:
May 4th, 2012 at 2:39 pm
Come to Boston Whitney — you can push Violet!
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This is an issue I think about a lot. We hope for a 2nd child, but it’s not clear if it will happen. I’ve held on to most everything, luckily we have a basement. But eventually I know I’m going to have to part with the bulk of it, and it will help me to know that the items are going to families who need them. (I”m just a bit sentimental, if you can’t tell.) However, I am not sentimental about my daughter’s overflowing collection of stuffed animals. She only plays with about three of them! Now that I know of the charity coordination group you mentioned, I see many of them going to a better home .. soon!
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Christine Koh Reply:
May 4th, 2012 at 2:42 pm
Hi Tara, believe me, I totally get it! If it helps, though, take a peek at http://www.bostonmamas.com/2011/02/secondhand_baby_shower.html — I had given away almost all of my baby things after several years of being open to pregnancy and it not happening… I finally came to terms with us being a family of three and of course I became pregnant a couple of months later. Of course!
Anyway, I had a secondhand baby shower the second time around and received more than enough. And I can honestly say that thanks to the hand me downs I have spent $0 on baby things, aside from diapers, wipes, and snack puffs! Pretty incredible!
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My kids donated ten loveys out of their horde (hoard?) at the holidays; they loved being part of Team Santa, making the holidays more special for kids in need.
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Christine Koh Reply:
May 4th, 2012 at 2:42 pm
So great Susan!
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This is such a great thing to hear. Having just moved, I feel completely overwhelmed by kids stuff that my kids don’t need anymore, and yet, I feel compelled to hang on to them in case we have a third. I will have to keep the spirit of this post in mind this weekend as we continue to organize our mounds of stuff!
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Christine Koh Reply:
May 5th, 2012 at 1:03 pm
Priya, see my response to Tara re: secondhand baby shower!
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This is great Christine. I have been grappling with this as Harry is only 9 1/2 months but we alreay have soooo much stuff and we can’t cope with it all (not enough space) but I am reticent to get rid as I hope we’ll need it again. Needs must and we have had to part with a whole bunch of stuff as we just don’t have the room and I know we’ll get/buy more if/when we need it! Thanks for raising this as a discussion topic and encouraging more sharing/gifting/re-using. It is all part of recylcing and so worth it and worth the amazing feeling!
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Christine Koh Reply:
May 5th, 2012 at 1:04 pm
Abby, see my response to Tara re: secondhand baby shower! There will be plenty if you decide to go for another baby.
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I know that feeling well!
Love to you!
Steph
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I agree-it feels so good to get rid of old things and to know that someone else can use them.
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