The conferences I now attend as a blogger are way different than the conferences I attended as an academic, but a state of overwhelm appears to be a commonality. As does, apparently, a primordial predilection towards longing, whether it be for connections, access to events, or material goods. For the most part, I had a fantastic time at BlogHer 2009, but I had some regrets too. From what I experienced last year and from what I’m already seeing in anticipation of this summer’s meeting, I’ve been thinking a lot about my approach to BlogHer 2010. Probably not surprisingly given my obsession with minimalist parenting, I’m taking a less is more approach to the event. Here are the key tenets of my approach; I hope some of these ideas will resonate with you.
1. Be realistic about the conference program…and take a step outside your comfort zone.
Situation: I’ve gone to conferences where I have wanted to attend every single session, and conferences where I’ve mostly gone to see people. In my experience, it’s impossible to go to back to back (or even close to back to back) sessions all day without feeling like a total zombie at the end.
Approach: Wherever you are on the program stamina spectrum, I suggest mapping out what sessions you plan on attending in advance and keeping the number of sessions reasonable. Obviously, this number will vary from person to person, but I might recommend identifying 1-3 must attend sessions then a handful of additional sessions across the conference to add on depending on your stamina for sitting and listening. And if you’re mostly going to BlogHer for networking, I recommend scanning the program and attending 1-2 sessions beyond your reach or comfort zone. I did this last year by attending the marketing to women of color session and it ended up being one of the most energizing blog conference sessions I have ever attended.
2. Take a realistic look at your social calendar.
Situation: My presence on Twitter has been sporadic in recent weeks, but I apparently had an uncanny ability to log on when organizers started tweeting about parties. Which I mostly RSVP’d for across the board because I wanted to support my friends who were organizing events. Which, when I finally sat down and looked at my Outlook calendar yesterday, led me to conclude that the current schedule will serve no purpose other than to drive me to the point of exhaustion. Which seems absurd and greedy given the discontent I’ve seen over people missing the RSVP window for parties.
Approach: I’m taking a realistic look at my calendar (and a map of Manhattan) over the next couple of weeks, stripping out double bookings and un-RSVP’ing for events where I’m pretty sure it would be un-fun or impossible for me to get from point A to B to give the event’s organizers any meaningful amount of my time. Also, I’ve found myself overwhelmed by the volume of off-site private invitations that are rolling in. Strangely, the thing I feel most bad about with many of these invites is that the events sound great and 6-8 weeks of advanced notice for a party seems reasonable; I feel bad saying no to these invitations, worried that they won’t be able to find people to come. (Crazy, I know!) But I’m taking a firm line and politely declining if I already have a conflict, no matter how tempting the event is or how much I’m fretting for people about their event planning (again, crazy, I know). These two action items will not only make social events more reasonable and fun for me, but will open space for other people.
3. Book face time with friends.
Situation: Last year was my first big BlogHer and I had no idea it would be so crazy; I just assumed I would bump into the friends I wanted to see, which didn’t happen for several friends. I felt as if I knew a lot of people going in to the event, yet when I would arrive at lunch, it literally looked like a giant sea of unfamiliar faces. I tried to look at this positively, and chat it up with lots of people I didn’t know, but ultimately I found myself totally exhausted by the high volume of small talk.
Approach: I want to strike a balance between meeting new folks and having quality time with friends. Clearly, experience has shown me that I feel most fulfilled and energized in intimate gatherings, so I’m going to make sure I book face time with friends.
4. Pack what makes you happy and comfortable.
Situation: Now, I will admit that I love clothes and shoes. When I’m out in public I like to look reasonably put together as a change of pace from my yoga pants (beloved as they are…). But the frenzy and stress I see around attire and BlogHer makes me sad. It immediately makes me think of middle school, when girls would stress about whether they had the 3 pairs of Guess jeans and 2 Benetton insignia sweaters required to sit at the lunch table. (I wish I was making that up.)
Action: Let’s throw down the collective gauntlet that people come to BlogHer in whatever clothes they feel most happy and comfortable in. Because if you are miserably trying to be something you are not, you will be uncomfortable. Which will make it harder to interact with people. I can’t speak for everyone, but if you come find me at BlogHer, trust that I’ll want to talk to you, not whatever it is you are wearing.
5. Be mindful about swag.
Situation: This topic makes me cringe but it must be addressed. Last year’s swag frenzy made me so uncomfortable. It was scary. And tacky. And sometimes causing of physical harm.
Approach: I am asking everyone to be mindful about swag; to think before you pick something up or consider elbowing someone out of the way in the name of a free eco-friendly sponge or key chain. Think: do I really need this? Will this bring me joy or utility? Is it worth hauling this home? Am I just picking this up because it’s free? Do I even know what the hell this is? Have I spent at least 10 seconds thinking about the sponsor and what it is that they are offering? If the answer to any of these questions even vaguely hints at no, step away from the swag. At Mom 2.0 in February, one thing I loved was that the registration bags were swag light, and if you wanted to pick up items from sponsors, you could do so directly from sponsors at the expo. I walked the expo floor and thanked the vendors for supporting the conference and learned more about what they had to offer, but I didn’t need anything so I didn’t pick anything up. I felt so much happier taking a light and mindful approach to the conference. Please consider doing the same.
Are there any issues I have missed? I would love to hear about ways you are looking to create a fun and meaningful experience at BlogHer. In my opinion, the key is to remember that the experience is yours to create. And I would wager that a less is more approach to the event will make for a happier experience for many people.
1:41 pm on June 15th, 2010
This is such a thoughtful post. I agree with everything you’ve said. I personally love swag - I share it with family and friends when they visit and enjoy sharing the wealth (so to speak), but I am still careful about what I take and what I don’t. As for the party situation, I will be rescinding my RSVP to a few parties that have since been replaced by other activities. I’m hoping that opens room for people who missed the chance to RSVP. The private parties are another thing entirely. I don’t think people holding private events will have trouble finding people to replace you - I haven’t really received any private party invites at all and I’m not the only one.
As for everything else, yes, yes, yes. BlogHer is crazy and overwhelming and you’ll get the most out of it if you follow your own pace, dress in your own style (boo to anyone who tells you to dress biz casual if you don’t want to) and don’t go overboard in terms of food, drink, parties, swag or anything else.
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Christine Koh Reply:
June 15th, 2010 at 3:08 pm
Thanks Christy. Just to clarify, I am not anti-swag — I just want people to be more mindful of it…to think about whether they really want to take something and to think about what it is. Seeing people scrabble for things for the sake of scrabbling, then jettison goods at the swag exchange point last year just seemed so pointless!
I know, I’m so weird re: private parties. I think this is why I could never be an event planner. I fret too much about whether people will show up.
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2:03 pm on June 15th, 2010
Sound advice all around.
This whole aura about what to wear has taken on a life of it’s own.
I always tell people I’m going to BlogHer and I’ll look pretty much how I usually look.
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Christine Koh Reply:
June 15th, 2010 at 3:09 pm
I am so excited to see your usually looking self in August! When I was looking back at my posts from last year as I wrote this post, I was reminded that you were one of the people I failed to bump into at BH. And it made me very sad. You and me this year babe. Coffee. And/or wine. And lots of fist bumps. xo
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2:49 pm on June 15th, 2010
You nailed it, completely. I am going to go through my party schedule and un reserve a few. I am also looking for ways to connect in smaller settings, since that is what I loved so much about last year.
Speaking of that, I need to make sure that I see you.
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Christine Koh Reply:
June 15th, 2010 at 3:11 pm
YES! Why don’t we plan on meeting for lunch? It also might be fun to get a few of the Shredheads together with us and we can all chat and flex our muscles.
BTW, I’m so proud of your ass kicking running progress!
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4:32 pm on June 15th, 2010
Christine, I look forward to seeing you and hoping that we are selecting some of the same sessions or events to attend. I am having a similar conversation with myself (and with Heather) about not being affiliated with too many brands. I am excited about representing Healthy Child Healthy World and another big brand who I will be working with, but want to make sure that I represent, above all, me.
My husband is envisioning women in cocktail dresses that look like a NASCAR jackets with logos all over them. (I might have to mock that up in PhotoShop.)
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Christine Koh Reply:
June 16th, 2010 at 9:36 am
You should definitely mock that up in Photoshop.
I can’t wait to see you!
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6:20 pm on June 15th, 2010
Absolutely. <3
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6:26 pm on June 15th, 2010
Thanks for sharing your BlogHer wisdom! As a newbie to the conference I really appreciate this post. I’ve been trying to soak up as many “lessons learned” and “plan ahead” posts as possible so I can really make the most of what’s sure to be an incredible experience!
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Christine Koh Reply:
June 16th, 2010 at 9:37 am
I’m glad it’s helpful Cindy. If you have other questions about BH, please feel free to ask. I don’t claim to be an expert, but it’s been very interesting to see how different conferences have operated over the last year.
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6:37 pm on June 15th, 2010
well said! I appreciate the part about the clothes. Last year I meticulously planned every outfit trying to look super cute. I wasn’t comfortable. But, this year I plan to just be me - and that means cute jeans all the way!
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9:27 pm on June 15th, 2010
Agreed. I am going to seek out new topics for the sessions that I attend, and I’m going to wear what’s as comfortable as possible. This year, I’ll definitely have to limit the amount of swag that I take home since it’s not in my hometown (Chicago) this time.
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11:45 pm on June 15th, 2010
Wonderful post babe! I will, for certain, be planning out my outfits, and probably posting about it. But that’s how I roll. And, for the record, I ended up in Croc sandals last year because of all the walking, standing, exhaustion. This year? Tennies.
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Christine Koh Reply:
June 16th, 2010 at 9:40 am
Allison, I totally get it — I love clothes too! What you reminded me of, though, that I think I may have missed in expressing, is that it’s totally fine to love clothes and want to look nice, but the point is not to hold judgment about others for whatever they are wearing.
At Blissdom I carried a pair of silver flat sandals that saved my life. The rooms were so far from the conference area… my feet couldn’t take it in the heels!
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12:36 am on June 16th, 2010
This is exactly what I’d do if I were going, but I’m not going- you can call that my WAY less is more approach LOL. I loved loved loved BlogHer 08. It was great. I went to one party! And ended up having such a good time (it was at Guy Kawasaki’s house!!
that I stayed and didn’t go to any others that night. I don’t recall any off-site or brand parties then. BlogHer 09 was TOTALLY different. I over booked myself for similar reasons/ to be nice, and accepted invitations- to be nice. When ALL I really wanted to do was hang out in a hallway or in my hotel room and have heart to hearts with the people I only get to see online and never in person.
One word of advice to newbies- if this year is anything like last year, arrive EARLY to any sessions you really want to go to. I tried to go to a few sessions and had to stand in the hall. Never heard a word or got to participate and it was a huge bummer to me.
Steph
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Christine Koh Reply:
June 16th, 2010 at 9:41 am
I will miss you tremendously Steph. It’s always such a highlight to spend time with you. But I know you will be having a marvelous time otherwise with the munchkins.
xoxo
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10:16 am on June 16th, 2010
Great post….as a newbie..good to know what to expect and how to proceed!! We are looking forward to going to our first BlogHer conference!! ~Chris Ann & Kristin
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11:20 am on June 16th, 2010
Maybe this’ll by my My Idea Friday post this week. I’m going to put it here, too. I’m a fan of mindful swag consumption. I’m an even BIGGER fan of companies that create the swag being mindful of the waste (WASTE) they’re creating in making the swag.
As a consultant to Zwaggle in 2008, I helped them make a plan for the swag recycling room (in my opinion, brilliant concept that I hope Blogher repeats). Here I am holding up the Swag-o-Meter: http://www.flickr.com/photos/gwenbell/2690205273/. Let me tell you this: it hit above 1,000 pds. Zwaggle did the right thing with all that left over swag - they passed it on to kids in need. Or they recycled it. I’m not sure what happened with it last year, but each year I see the trash bins overflowing with trash.
I’d like someone to start a company that teaches big companies like those who sponsor - GM, Pepsi, Michelin and the like - what kind of swag is
1. minimal impact on the Earth
2. most likely to be taken home
But, primarily, 1. Minimalist swag makes for minimalist consumption, no matter how you dice it. If the freebies (like those from Blue Avocado last year) encourage healthy habits (like taking your own bags grocery shopping, rather than using paper/plastic) then it’s a triple win. Your product will be promoted by me (it is. Every one of the folks who check me out regularly have asked about Blue Avocado and gotten my pitch: women-run, earth-forward, adorable bags!), it has a minimal impact on the Earth _and_ it’s doing something positive for the environment.
Triple win, people! Triple!
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Christine Koh Reply:
June 17th, 2010 at 9:33 am
Gwen, YES. I wrote about this after BlogHer last year (see http://popdiscourse.com/2009/07/bloggers-sponsor-co-existing-in-harmony/) — I think there needs to be more mindfulness on the sponsor end about what they are putting out there and why.
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12:23 pm on June 16th, 2010
I couldn’t agree more with everything you said. Last week I started emailing people and rescinding my RSVP’s to parties. My calendar looked absolutely ridiculous and yes last year was absolutely crazy, running from party, to party, to party, sleeping a few hours, getting up to attend sessions and then party some more. I was exhausted by the end of the conference. Sure it was fun, but this year I am taking a much more methodical approach to it all. I’ve listed the sessions that are important to me, I have allowed a lot of down time, and I won’t be attending every single party. And I will be wearing comfy shoes :).
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8:22 pm on June 16th, 2010
I cannot understand who would want to horde that stuff and then want to pay the check in fees for all that. Simply not worth it. I purposely left out a few parties last year so that I knew I would not want to go crazy standing in some line for crazy swag. So not worth it.
@Gwen - That tote stays attached to my keyring and I always look the coolest when I forget my re-usable bags - simply the smartest item ever.
I love swag and parties like everyone else but really the pressure that goes with it makes it so not worth it.
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3:01 pm on June 17th, 2010
1. This will be my first BlogHer;
2. This is my first blogging conference ever;
3. I have not lost the baby weight and since I am at WAHM, have not bothered to shop (nor had time to shop) in months for clothes that fit and flatter;
4. Put me in a room to give a speech in front of 1000 people and I can rock it. Ask me to go into a room of 10 who all know each other, and I freak; and
5. This will also be the first time I will be away from my baby since he was born.
I know a handful of people attending BlogHer but in the hundreds of people, I know most of the time I will be on my own. A scary thing for me as I try to take it all in, try to fit in, and try to blend in, all at the same time.
However, this post reminds me that I need to be zen about the whole thing. Not be sad if I missed (a) and (b) party because I could not get in or was not cool enough to be invited in the first place. Rather, go for the reason I signed up for in the first place: to learn to be a better blogger. The rest will fall into place. Keychain or not.
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12:14 pm on June 22nd, 2010
My only comment: why did we not meet at Blogher 09? That’s just wrong.
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12:49 pm on June 23rd, 2010
So well-timed. I’ve already started my BlogHer freakout. What sessions should I sign up for? Who do I need to make sure to meet? How do I make sure to talk to people beyond the people I’m rooming with? I’m shy…I just want to learn as much as I can, you know? Argh.
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